Monday, September 25, 2017

12 Old School Kids’ Horror Movies That Still Scare The Shit Out Of Us

There are quite a lot of old horror movies, some are good, some movies are amazing but few of ’em, a pinch of movies, are historic! Doesn’t matter if you’re 80’s kid or 90’s or whatever era we bet you’ll still love these 12 old school horror movies.


1. Disney Channel’s Don’t Look Under the Bed
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Don’t Look Under the Bed is easily Disney Channel’s creepiest old movie. It features a genius girl who finds herself STALKED BY THE BOOGEYMAN HIMSELF. If that’s not creepy enough, it’s revealed that the Boogeyman is her imaginary friend who’s been forgotten, has transformed into the boogeyman, and now wants her frightened and dead. So if you ever had an imaginary friend that you’ve forgotten, good luck, man.


2. The Witches



Another creation by Roald Dahl, The Witches is a “family horror movie” that tells the story of a young boy who battles a conference of witches, who are all plotting to kill the children of the world by transforming them into mice and tricking their parents into exterminating them. Did we mention the part where Anjelica Huston TEARS OFF HER OWN FACE TO REVEAL THE GNARLED HEAD WITCH UNDERNEATH


3. Coraline



Based on Neil Gaiman’s novel, Coraline’s spunky heroine travels through a clay may wormhole in her new house to discover an alternate universe with her “Other Mother” and “Other Father” where she’s lavished attention upon and everything is colorful and exciting. The catch? Other Mother wants to STEAL HER EYES and TRAP HER THERE FOREVER with the GHOSTS OF THE CHILDREN SHE HAS KILLED BEFORE. Have fun, kiddies!


4. Return to Oz



An 80s sequel to The Wizard of Oz based on the books, Return to Oz starts with Dorothy receiving shock therapy in an ASYLUM and somehow gets even darker from there. This clip features Mombi, a princess who beheads beautiful women and then keeps their decapitated heads in a series of drawers tO WEAR LIKE FASHION ACCESSORIES. DID WE MENTION THE WHEELERS?






 5. Disney’s Dumbo


If you haven’t watched Dumbo in a few years, you probably remember an adorable big-eared protagonist and a wise little mouse in a funny hat. But good god, this movie is DARK. He’s separated from his mother, his circus co-stars are demonic fire clowns, and when baby Dumbo gets drunk for the first time, cinematic history was made with the scariest animated scene in history: pink elephants on parade.


6. The Secret of NIMH



The Secret of NIMH is another book to animated film adaptation, and it’s a whole lot, man. From horrifyingly decrepit owls to a laboratory conspiracy theory to sinister cats. Honestly, this whole film is an Illuminati nightmare fever dream.


7. Labyrinth



The Henson company is split evenly into three parts funny, classic, and spookier beyond human belief. Their creature shop is both awe and nightmare-inspiring, and Labyrinth is no different. If you’re not freaked out by the Fireys, there are also biting fairies, goblins with axes, the Cleaners, and David Bowie’s bulge, which deserves its own line in the credits.


8. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory



The new-fangled Johnny Depp version of Roald Dahl’s famous novel is an entirely different film. We’re talking about the old Gene Wilder, orange minions carrying out swift justice to ominous dance numbers, murder tunnel Willy Wonka. The trippy af boat scene wins for the creepiest moment in this film, but it faced serious competition from the “casually sucked into a giant pipe of molten chocolate” scene.


9. The Never Ending Story



The Never Ending Story has a lot of puppets and make-ups that could easily scare the bejeezus out of any child, but we’re more concerned with the sinister force of darkness simply called “The Nothing” that billows across the world of Fantasia. It’s basically an existential being de-creating everything, and what the hell. What kid needs to sort through that sort of nihilist crisis.


10. The Dark Crystal



A Jim Henson creation, The Dark Crystal asks “What if an entire film were just creepy puppets and there weren’t any human actors whatsoever?” And holy mother of god, are those puppets ug-o-lee. It’s not just the villains; we’re freaked out by the puppet heroes too.


11. Watership Down



Watership Down is absolutely infamous. Rabbits at war who will ruthlessly slaughter their fluffy kin. There’s no way this was made for children, but because it’s animated and stars rabbits, somehow the demographics changed. Even though the trailer literally has a field overflowing with b l o o d.


12. Monster House



It’s honest enough to be pitched as a horror movie for kids instead of an “action” movie. It’s a house so haunted that it’s become sentient and ACTUALLY EATS PEOPLE. The trailer is even edited like a horror film, and honestly, the animation’s a little creepy enough on its own.










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